I am exhausted. Tapped out. It’s been a busy week, and it’s not over yet. I do pause to breathe and ground myself, but it’s not enough. I need a day. Just a day, with no deadlines or kids’ activities, or commitments. Much as I need it, it’s not today.
Mama Gaia, on the other hand, is bursting with energy and new life. In my herb garden, every day brings lush new growth, both of the herbs and the weeds! All around, the trees are in the midst of “leafing out” for the new season. They grow greener by the hour it seems. The air is moist from the recent rain. The birds are in the midst of singing/mating/nesting frenzy. Everywhere, all around me, new life is flourishing wildly.
And yet, here I am exhausted.
If I am to function for the next couple days until things ease up with some semblance of sanity, then I need to stop relying on my own energy and tap into all this glorious energy that surrounds me. Of course, this is easier said than done.
Thinking now… I allow my mind to wander out into the greening garden, into the flowering May wood…
Even the noisy birds don’t try to do too much at once. They sing, then mate, then nest, then brood… can I simplify? Drop out a few things I thought were essential? (okay, forget cooking, it’s take out pizza tonight)
Rainwater drops onto a leaf. Which side of the leaf does it flow down? We can’t know for sure, can we? Chaos. Randomness. Can I allow for a little more of that? Would it help? (all right, the house will stay messy for now)
And the rain itself… Can I accept help? Can I allow myself to receive as well as to give? Earth without water becomes a dry, harsh desert. (yes, I’d love a little help…thank you so much)
It’s all connected. The birds, woods, meadows, rain… it’s all one ecosystem, one interconnected whole. No single flower goes it alone. It taps into the greater whole. The flow of energy. Sun, leaf, soil, bloom, air, rain. The flow of the seasons. Viritidas. That’s what Hildegard of Bingen called it. “Greening energy.” It was one of her words for God, both immanent and transcendent.
I get the message. I need to make the time to see the Holy in the greening. I need to reconnect with the source, even if only for a short time. (I can spare 20 minutes)
I feel a little better now.
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